It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini

That she wore for the first time today…

—Brian Hyland, “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”

At the end of July this year, this article on Fragrantica reported that the hard seltzer brand Vizzy was releasing a limited-edition series of scented swimsuits and swim trunks based on 3 of their beverage flavors: strawberry kiwi, pineapple mango, and raspberry lemonade. According to the dedicated Vizzy swimwear website, “The Vizzy Seltzer Szn Swimwear line uses cutting-edge fabric technology to bring Vizzy’s fruit-flavor mashups to life for a full sensory experience. We combined the scents of essential oils to bring our unique Vizzy fruit mashups flavors to life and infused the scents into the swimsuit material.”

Confession #1: I had not heard of Vizzy hard seltzer before this. (I also don’t drink hard seltzer. Hard kombucha, sure.)

Confession #2: I am a sucker for novelty.

I was already thinking I should shop for a new swimsuit anyway. So, with only digital renderings to go by—no photos or size charts—I pre-ordered my raspberry lemonade–”flavored” one-piece that looks like a wannabe two-piece with a belt in the middle.

A few weeks later, it arrived. Of course I greeted it with open nostrils: sure enough, it was scented! Not exactly like raspberry or lemonade, but something very familiar… maybe a pink floral candle in one of those popular “lifestyle” boutiques? A berry-flavored lip balm? Fortunately, the scent stays very close, although it seemed to get slightly stronger with the help of some body heat. I’m not sure about essential oils, but I imagine they must be using some kind of encapsulation technology that enables slow release of molecules.

I’m delighted to say that I got more beach time this summer than any other year in recent memory. However, those trips were more about sitting on a blanket on the sand and drinking beer than actually going into the ocean, so I didn’t get to test this swimsuit in the water until a few days ago. Swimming pools these days manage to be kept a clear blue color without leaving a smell of chlorine, a vast improvement from when I was younger.

It didn’t smell like much in the water, but I think the scent on the swimsuit was slightly weaker after getting out of the water. Not sure how many dips in the pool the raspberry lemonade molecules will last, and sadly the season is ending. I’m storing the swimsuit in a plastic bag and expect to still be able to smell it next year.

Apparently there aren’t that many other suckers for novelty, because as of now, some of these promo swimsuits are still available to buy from the website, so it’s not too late…! (Although I don’t really recommend buying swimsuits without trying them on first…)